You should see the other guy

Good morning.  Remember these stairs?

Well.  Slippery when wet.

Sucky morning.

Stay tuned

Look what I found! Don't look at this, family; I am bringing tons back home.  

So, not too, too many things to blog about over the last couple days.  I am sort of getting sick (I might be dying), so I have been taking naps and then staying up too late trying to catch my homies online.  BUT, I did do some awesome things.

I watched this guy jump up some stairs in the dark:

And, I did finally take pictures of all the awesome/terrifying/down right confusing statuary around the grounds of Pete's Maison d'Eats and Playhouse. and Footlocker.

Check out these sweet ice creams. Don't worry; they come in NOVELTY SIZE!

Man; Hobby Lobby could make such a killing here.  I hope I find a lawn jockey soon.

I also ate more.  Bring out the food pics!

We were supposed to bring snacks for a session on ethical research with one of the hospitals, which landed us here:

Oh my god.  Angelica's Bakeshop has the most amazing bread I have ever eaten.   Soo soft.  Oh my god.  And then they stuff some of them with chirizo.  And some with ham and cheese.  (And some with tuna; not sold on that idea).  And some of the breads are sweet.  And all of them are made out of perfect clouds (and probably with actual lard).  There is a reason that the fourth image to pop up when you Google "Angelicas bakery Cebu" is this:

I wonder how it must feel to be a candidate for stock images relating to weight gain.  Does that paycheck feel good?  After all, you kind of have to have good skin to do it, and I am sure the American market is very competitive.

And, more eating.  Yesterday was Delia at OPS's birthday.  Sweet!

Bruschetta with mango in it!  So gooood.  

Lechon chicken, awesome barbecue from AA (barbecue place).

Today in the office, it was great to have conversations with some of my coworkers about the "types" of people who go to AA.  Haha.

Full plate.  

The stuff that is in a white cube with yellow flecks on the left is something with a name in Cebuano.  It involves coconut milk (duh; everything does), cornstarch and corn.  If you can get past the texture, it is pretty darn good.  I can only suspend my ability to get past the texture briefly.

Homemade mango pop sickle   

This is what the guts of that awesome cake look like (didn't see this one coming):

It's also purple! Which speaks to how in Cebu, they like to keep things honest; if you are purporting to be a purple cake on the outside, then you had better be a purple cake.  

Awesome pairing with the barbecue.  Mmmm.  So, I finally took myself to the Ranch, the American-themed restaurant pictured here:

I don't know any of these people.

I ordered the ostrich burger.  One thing I learned is that 'medium' does not mean the same thing here (at the Ranch?  in Cebu?) as it does at home.

How much salmonella can you get from undercooked ostrich meat?  Probably as much as I got drinking the Coke from the fountain at Jollibee today.  I was just so damn thirsty, so sick of having to think about making sure my water comes from a sealed container, and couldn't see any bottled fluids behind the counter.  

That bee should be happy.  He is on the cup of the most refreshing Coke I can ever remember having.  

More pig consumption (this time for the sake of training on how to take the placental samples):

Me, some pig livers, and midwives who will be working to take placental samples.  

It went really well.  These ladies are going to do a good job.  I am optimistic, which is good.  It almost even looks like I have arm muscles in that picture.  Sweet.  

So, guess what.  I have an AWESOME TRIP PLANNED THIS WEEKEND!!

I bought a day tour package to Bohol because it was super cheap.  Don't have to pay for a hotel this way, which I am sure I will regret once I see how awesome this place is.  

Here's what my day tour includes:

-Round trip ferry from Cebu to Bohol

-Lei reception (that makes me super uncomfortable, but whatevs)

-Tour to Baclayon Church

-Tour to Loay Backyard Industry

-Loboc river cruise with lunch

-TARSIER VIEWING in captivity

-Visit at Billar Mahogany Man Made forest

-Chocolate Hills

-Butterfly farm

-Blood Compact Monument

All of that for like $80 after taxes!  That's it!  I cannot wait to post pictures, assuming something freakish like rain or oversleeping doesn't take over Saturday.  

I am trying to round up people at the office to go do some karaoke with me.  I've been practicing this, this and this.  I'm gonna rock the house, y'all.  

"I really like John Denver"

I went on a road trip!  Where to, you ask?

Dun nuh nuh nuh Nuh nuh nuh nuh CATMON!

Look!  I outlined my trip!

So, that wonderful couple I met at the Outpost weren't just telling some tall tales, which, to be honest, I was still a little scared about after a series of texts landed me here:

All by myself for 45min.  It is a little shady, despite the flashy red paint (more red; AND that kid is wearing a yellow shirt to the left!  SCORE!), and the texts informing me to "be safe," "make sure you are paying attention to the people around you," etc. were not helping.  Look at this ridiculous bus at the station:

I totally creeped out the poor girl in the foreground. 

"Mmm hmmm.  I wanna go wherever the J Girls is goin'," is what the ad firm associated with this bus must have hoped people would be thinking.  My guess is that be it Jeepney or bus, or cart, people would ride regardless of whether or not there were an artistically rendered Yota or Bratz doll-inspired landscape on the side.  I just wouldn't enjoy looking at it so dang much.  (BTW If hard times have hit the Lisa Frank empire, I think she's got an easy rebirth here.) Our bus looked nothing like that.  It was just an old school bus, basically, which made me feel better than the tourists leaving on the big, fancy air-conditioned ones.

Suck it, Japanese tourists.  Anywho, the ride was something like two hours.  And, then I ate some barbecue.

I had somehow avoided eating this, the staple of Cebu.  Alright, so when I was younger, I used to eat dog treats because the smell always held such incredible promise.  It never delivered; they were dogs treats; it makes sense.  The barbecue here just is divine.  I was sad to keep eating it because all I could think was that there is nothing quite like this perfect flavor at home.  But, then again, it is also associated with a very high rate of gout in Cebu as well.


Jovil's family's house was right on the edge of the sea.  

They raise a few turkeys.

I watched the moon rise, and it was freaking beautiful.  After meeting his family a little, who are all completely wonderful, funny and warm people,  

One of his 7 aunts, who said she really likes John Denver, which is where I let her down about how uninteresting the  geography of Chicago is; that we don't have mountains; and that the song is about Colorado.  I need to go on.  This woman is one of my favorite people I've met this whole time.  I cannot entirely explain it, but it does help that she said she would have believed me had I said I was 6 feet tall when she asked.  

I went to bed.

In a room with this thing:

Luckily, I didn't notice her until the morning, especially since those raging eyes were poised to look at me while I slept.


In the morning, I ate this is a delicacy, which is more associated with Catmon in particular, budbud kabog. Millet and coconut milk rolls wrapped in banana leaves.  

Scarlet enjoying her mango, which is a "perfect pairing" with the budbud.

And, that was breakfast.  We still had a big food day to go.  We left for the RIVER RESORT!!  Because it is up in the mountains, you have to ride on one of these things to get there.  This is the part where I hope that my parents have ebbed back into passive disinterest about their daughter's trip to the other side of the world and have stopped checking the blog in order for me to retain my holier-than-thou standpoint in discussions on how Papa D's new hobby of bike riding just isn't safe.

Look, ma!  No helmets!  And, this shit was high up.  I took a useless photo, trying to capture the height, but it just didn't do any justice.  Even if I have to forfeit my standpoint, it was worth it.  We ended up here:

This little boy looks just like my nephew Vince.

River massage.

Hot spring!

Hotter spring!

Hawt spring!

After all of that, we came back for a huge feast.  One of the nieces is moving away to Texas to go teach special education, so they had a going away party for her.  I ate.  And ate.

2 other awesome aunts processing seafood goop for the wonderful calamari.  Mmmm.  

It was still oinking. 

They were still attacking.

John Denver's mistress was still plating.

Wish I were still devouring. 

Desert.  Gulaman?

Don't think I would have that desert again; the texture was sort of exactly what I don't want to be eating, but the taste was really good.  I think texture will almost always win out over taste for me.


It has rained a couple times in the last 12 hours, which means bugs come inside the apartment, which means that I got very little sleep, filled with nightmares about ants and cockroaches, and that I had to kill an actual huge cockroach again this morning.  Just bleached off the bottom of my dainty little ballerina flats with the little bows and headed off to work in them.  Squish. Squish.  Squish.  


Red ant bites on bottom of foot=ITCH!!  I don't recommend them.  Oh shit; did I get the chiggas?